19 August 2010

Things Bloggers Do #6

6.  Burlap

If you search for burlap on Google, do you find articles about how it’s used to carry coffee beans and was often worn by people on Ash Wednesday to rip up their flesh for religious purposes? No?

Yeah…I totally find entire 2 or 3 pages of blogs featuring amazingly cute crafty things made from burlap!! We have completely reinvented something once used as camouflage in WW2. Actually we’ve done that with a lot of things stemming from that time period….but today is BURLAP!!







Do you actually sit on burlap cushions? I did. I made one. I tried it, and believe me; it feels like sitting on a porcupine. It feels even worse on a hot day when it makes your booty itch.  Bootyitis, if you will. And you have to try and NOT scratch it. Good luck with that.







(On a side note, if your booty itches when not sitting on burlap, you should probably see a doctor. Or use some Preparation H. Yes, I just linked to their website. You’re welcome.)

I had to add this in, the fact that it sheds like crazy and it makes you itch your nose when using it.  You have to be really careful in public, people might think you're a crackhead if you keep itching your nose all the time...

I think I sneeze a minimum of 10 times whenever I use burlap to do anything.


Don't show your kids this picture, it may give them nightmares....







It also smells like the wrong end of a dog. I’m just being honest here. Since you can’t wash it without destroying it, you must deal with the smell. How can I describe it…it smells like compromise....?!





Do I want the cute curtains bad enough to endure the smell???? YES. I will not be buying any Eau De Burlap anytime soon.





I can’t get enough burlap actually….seriously; I think chairs made out of it are amazingly cool. So what if people can’t sit in them? I’ll just leave them in the living room as decoration.





“Actually Sally, we don’t sit on the furniture! Here, use this hideous non-burlap pillow to sit on.”




Why is Sally dressed up so fancy coming over to my house anyway?  Her and her blond curls...




Can you imagine if our entire society caught onto this burlap craze we’re in? What other uses would we find for it?



- Burlap toilet paper?



- Burlap flavored toothpaste? (Don’t know why I’m on a toiletry kick here…)



- Burlap seat covers!



- Burlap Jelly Bellies!



- Burlap evening gowns! Oh wait…wasn’t there a Project Runway episode?



- Burlap Skivvies!



"Guaranteed to drive up Butt Paste sales."




Well so much for my original ideas. Maybe the toothpaste one will catch on.....

18 comments:

Jen~ Lipstick and Laundry said...

hahahahaha Thanks for the laugh... burlap is scratchy and don't forget it will make your nose itch like crazy when working with it...

kasey said...

and it sheds like crazy.

.Twig. said...

Yes, you guys are so right. I love it. I might have to go back and add those in...

Sydney said...

I was hoping for a burlap bra tutorial (would wire be required for that?)....better luck next time I guess, lol.

Heather at Blessed Little Nest said...

you are so funny! love those burlap dipes. talk about bootyitis!!! hehehe

TheSmithHotel said...

Too funny! I use "soft" burlap. You can wash it, lay on it, etc..... Doesn't have the texture or the smell!

Jody

LuLu said...

the diapers would be hilarious!!
xo,
LuLu

Rie said...

This made me laugh so hard!!!!!!!!!!

Robyn said...

I.Love.You. I'm just sayin. Not in some weirdo kinda way but in a good way. Like in a non burlap way.

lifeshighway said...

I did not know you could even purchase burlap. I thought the only way you could get was to go to a feed store and buy 50 lbs of corn or something. Bloggers learn SO much from other bloggers.

mommara said...

Hahaha this is so funny and true. I too don't get the burlap craz. I have often thought eww it's so uncomfortable and not THAT cute. Great post.

vintagesusie & wings said...

You are hysterical woman!!!!! LOL
I do adore burlap just cuz I think it looks so cool...but the reality is, I have never bought anything that's made out of it. You see, my hubby is just TOO PRACTICAL! He'd go nuts & never stop complaining about a pillow that hurt to lay on, a sacrafice made in the quest for beauty. Now I...I would make the needed sacrafice & yes, I would keep a soft cotton pillowcase in a drawer next to the couch to put on when alone in my home with a need for comfort. But sadly, that day will never come as...I have a practical husband....lol
Smiles,
Susie

Amber Rose said...

I heard that Victoria's Secret just came out with a burlap line..

vintagesusie & wings said...

PS: I have another pet peave you can maybe address here on this perfect forum. It is the ridiculous "SECRET CODE" we all have to waste our time filling out before we can leave a comment. Whas up with that??? I really don't get it & it annoys me evry time I have to fill one out...which is pretty much ALL THE TIME in blogland.
So what is the deal...
I've had a blog for a year, I have 300 friends & have NEVER gotten any spam or weird comments or crazies or stalkers or perverts or anything exciting...just a bunch of normal, sweet people who leave me incredibly sweet comments.
So why do people have this ridiculous secret code thing on their blogs???? I really do not understand it. What does it protect them from...viruses?? Is it like a condom for your blog...it keeps you protected from blog STD's. I mean really. I go to blogs that have 6 friends & I have to spend 5 minutes getting through their security checks to leave a 5 word comment. Sorry...this is my issue...can you tell? lol
As a singular rebellion I was going to start typing at the bottom of all my comments the ridiculous word or phrase I had to type in to leave my comment, sometimes they are almost obscene! I didn't though as I was afraid they might get scared & think I was actually the very thing they were trying to protect themselves from...
I know, you have one...sorry! :)
Susie
"drows"

Ms. Bake-it said...

Good one! Needed that laugh! I am thinking I will pass on using the burlap diapers for my little darling!

~ Tracy

Deb's mind said...

hahahaha.......you are funny. Great take on burlap....I just don't understand some people's fascination with it......ugh....you are so right. It is flipping ugly. Burlap..YUCK!!!!!

Susan Graham said...

Ah mate thanks a lot. I’ve been looking for a lot of jQuery tutorials regarding charts and i stumbled upon this.Just wanted to say thank you for the help.

barn wood furniture said...

my heart skipped a beat! these are soooo beautiful! they aren't my fave style, but what you did with them is incredible. you are seriously talented, and never undervalue yourself just to make sales- know your worth in this world! the right customers always do come along, given time. and don't you want your pieces to go to the right people who will LOVE them and appreciate them like you do? of course ya do.

Susan Graham