Things Bloggers Do #3

I really intended to post between the TBD series this week.  I don't even have a legitimate excuse, so, I'll make one up.  I...was...washing my hair.

3.  Giveaways

Giveaways are the only time you get to be more charitable than Mother Theresa and Oprah, as long as the people entering follow your 304,038,923 steps. Am I right?

“Here, take an Anthro (because no one types out Anthropologie in blogland anymore) gift card, some rubies, my grandmother’s quilt, and also my firstborn!”

All you have to do is:

- Stand on your rooftop and shout the name of my blog (and spell it out) for roughly 3 hours.

- Once you get more than 40 people congregating on your lawn, have them come inside to physically sit down one by one and push the ‘FOLLOW’ button on my blog

- If any resist, your entry doesn’t count. Sorry!

- I may or may not be condoning the use of guns to make them follow. If you choose to use guns, please do not directly comment the use of said guns – email me personally.

- Vistaprint makes some wonderful static cling car decals – I happen to have them made up just for my blog, Twig! Be sure to slap one on every clean surface of your car for a double entry!

- Tweet about it

- Blog about it

- Facebook it

- Tattoo it on your forehead

There really are a lot of chances to enter this awesome giveaway! Oh, by the way, commenting, tweeting, and facebooking only count for .1 percent of an actual entry, so I hope you’re not afraid of heights!! Hurry! The contest ends one week from today!”

 

I think my drawings turned out looking like Amy Winehouse today..hmm

See?  Amy Winehouse! hahaha..

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There’s also the giveaways out there featuring a less than awesome prize that leaves you wondering if they even get the concept…(Thanks to Megan of Shabby Blogs for this awesome TBD idea!)

“Giveaway: My kid’s second grade macaroni project and some used Band-Aids

Hi lovelies! (By the way, ‘lovelies’ is an entirely different TBD post subject that will be addressed at a later date)

I’m in such a generous mood today! I’ve decided to give away my lil’ snugglipuffs macaroni art project! I know its missing a few pieces, but that just adds to the charm of it all. There might even be some rustic, vintage mold on a few noodles. I really think the addition of used band-aids makes the prize package so industrial chic. I can’t wait to see what awesome vignettes you create with them!

If you enter today, I’ll also include the glue stick that my child used to make the project! A half used glue stick!”

Megan said it better than I ever could in response to this sort of giveaway: “Who wins there? No one!” ha. Well stated.

***

ON the flip side of things, let’s talk about giveaway comments. As the giveaway-ee (that’s my new word. Go ahead, I just gave that to you, feel free to adopt it, love it, use it.) There’s nothing more discouraging than seeing a comment in a giveaway that goes like this:

“Anonymous said:

Hi thank you for the lovely things. I hope I win.”

Really? I hope you don’t win because I HAVE NO IDEA WHO YOU ARE!

Are you blogging from space? Mount Olympus?

Is someone holding you at gunpoint and forcing you to comment for an entry?

Are you a secret government spy who REALLY wants a chance at that Anthro giftcard but can’t give out your name?

I’d understand it more then. And I sincerely apologize to those of you that entered by anonymous comment who are spies, held at gunpoint, or blogging from another realm.

Here’s another funny comment I get a lot:

“Xx~_..--.._~xX said:

Fingers crossed! (Insert email here).”

Are you sure you don’t want to stand on the roof and shout the name of my blog at least once? You sure you don’t want to blog about the giveaway somewhere? Maybe write it on your notebook or something? Ok then, good luck.

I’m just going to listen to Journey in the dark and eat my feelings.

Is it sad that my excitement about the giveaway is directly proportionate to the content of entry comments?

(I just had to google “How to make bar graphs” Someone needs to go back to school instead of blogging all day).

(I just had to google “How to make LINE graphs because bar graphs were NOT what I wanted).

I still didn't get it right.  Look at that "quality of comments" floating up there in space...he should be hanging out on the left side with his friends! Crap.  I'm a failure. 

What about the comments where they try to guilt trip you into picking them? Those are always awkward.

“Lonely and misunderstood says:

I’d love to win your Anthro gift card. You see, I’ve never had the courage to actually go into that store. It’s truly been a dream of mine for so long, and my grandmother’s dying wish was for me to go into one. Of course if I did, I wouldn’t have any fun because a bank robber stole all of my money. So you see, this is why you need to pick me to be the winner.”

Never mind that it’s a random pick for winner. This person is determined.

Well, I’ll probably never win another giveaway, ever, or have any more  friends.…but thanks for humoring me. You can catch previous TBD posts by clicking here and here, and you can always email me at twigdecor@yahoo.com with suggestions! Thanks again Megan!!!

NOW...if you'll excuse me, I have some giveaways to enter...